Mornings are difficult for me. Difficult to the point that I’m sometimes surprised, when I get to work, that I’ve managed to dress myself in a socially appropriate way.

My stomach, like my brain, tends to take a while to fully wake up, so breakfast can be something of a challenge. Historically, my breakfast has been orange juice, cereal, and blueberries—something I can assemble and eat without a fully alert brain or stomach. The problem is that I’m ravenous again just a couple of hours later, and it’s still a ways until lunchtime.

So recently I’ve decided to experiment with an exciting new food product I’ve been hearing a lot about. It’s cheap, healthy, and full of protein. It’s an animal product, so vegans, this is not for you. And it’s a little gross if you think too much about it, but  somehow less gross if you shell out and get it at the farmer’s market from the local organic producer guys, who also happen to be really attractive.

That’s right, I’m talking about eggs. Specifically, taking eggs and making them into McMuffins. (When I was a kid, I called all chicken nuggets “McNuggets.” In hindsight, that’s depressing.) More specifically, making them into a Starbucks-inspired hoity-toity version of McMuffins; even more specifically, making them in bulk and freezing them so that they can be nuked and enjoyed first thing in the morning, even when brain dead. They’re cheaper, healthier, tastier, and—especially with farmer’s market eggs and gooey havarti with dill—much, much classier than the original. And hey, with the freezing-and-nuking, they’re faster, too.

WARNING! STUPID SHAKESPEARE PUN: I goo, I goo; look how I goo, Swifter than arrow from the Tartar's boo.

Classy, homemade Egg McMuffin

6 eggs
6 English muffins (whole-grain if possible)
Havarti cheese with dill
baby spinach
olive oil
salt and pepper

Beat the eggs well. Heat a non-stick pan over medium heat with some olive oil. When the pan is hot, either scramble the eggs or cook them omelet-style. When done, season with salt and pepper.

Separate the halves of the English muffins. (Note: you can toast them if you want, but if you’ll be freezing-and-nuking, it won’t make any difference in the end.)  On one half of each muffin, place a couple of thin slices of cheese, 1/6 of the eggs, a few leaves of baby spinach, and then a couple more thin slices of cheese. Press the other half of the muffin on top; the cheese on both sides will serve to seal the sandwich together. Place each sandwich in a plastic baggie, then transfer the six baggies to a freezer bag.

To serve, remove sandwich from baggie and microwave for one minute, or until cheese is melting.

Serves 6.

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